A little ode to my baby

OMG. I'm kind of freaking out.
In just 2 days, I'm going to have a 3 year old.
WHAT THE HECK?
I swear, he was just born yesterday.

My body thinks so at least, because these stretch marks still feel fresh. Sometimes I look down at my stomach and I'm like, 'what are you doing on my body? I'm young and wild, go away!' And after 5 minutes of two screaming wake up calls I realize that I really am getting old and I'm not so wild anymore. Unless you consider a 10pm bedtime wild........

I thought that with all the hustle and bustle that's about to take place this week in honor of my BIG BABY (he's not a little boy yet...not for 2 more days)...that I would shed a little light on my LITTLE BABY because he's fun and I like to talk about him.

So here's the best thing that's happened recently:

Because I am mom and I like to make people hear me roar, I often refer to my children by first and middle name, just to establish dominance at all times (just kidding...they just have beautiful names). Sometimes I'm silly about it and I say things like, "Ryan Joseph, you are soooo cute." and other times I say things like, "Ryan Joseph, get off of your brother".

So the other day I'm down the hall and I hear Tristan yelling, "NO NO RYAN" (he's becoming kind of bossy lately)...and Ryan is laughing, wait- cackling, so Tristan is getting very irritated when all of a sudden I hear him say, "Ryan Joseph YOU STOP". Except it didn't sound like Ryan Joseph. It sounded like Ryan Doofus. And it was awesome. And I couldn't stop laughing.

Ryan's name is really amazing. It's quite simple; very classic...you can't screw it up. I love it. I love it for so many reasons. It means Little King and that was the kicker for me. I felt like it was a strong and decent name. (PLUS WE AGREED ON IT) It was a name for a nice man, and that's what I want to raise. Nice, kind, strong & happy men.

Anyways---- RYAN.

He's pretty adorable. If you haven't met him, you probably want to because he's a little bundle of fun. Small and compact, so he's still totally cuddle-able and has plenty of chub to go around so you just want to squeeze him (safely please). His hugs make you feel soooo loved. He's been influenced by the french on his kissing style and will give you two "MUAHs"- one on each check. We eat it up.

We call him "Monster", "Boo", and "RyRy"... and sometimes "Ryan". He responds to all 4. Because he's a genius. No really, he is. He's started talking and it's the greatest thing that's ever happened because this stage was SO HARD for me with Tristan.

Ryan likes to think he is big and refuses to be carried. He loves the gym and all of his friends there. He disperses his love pretty equally and we like that about him. He loves Tristan the most but Mommy and Daddy are equally as cool. Sometimes he doesn't quite understand that Tristan doesn't like to squashed...but we're working on that.

Ryan does all things that Tristan does. Tristan wears underwear? Well, so does Ryan. Who cares if it's over the diaper, he knows he looks cooler wearing the underwear and he likes it. Tristan eats his cereal with milk, a bowl, and a spoon? How dare we ever think to pour Cheerio's on Ryan's tray and treat him like a baby.

His favorite things right now are Mickey, going up and down the slide--but mostly up,  Woody, and destroying any train track in sight.

Our favorite little quirk of Ryan is his infamous hand gestures. He uses his hands to talk and I really have no words to explain it...he does it every day, and yet it still makes me want to die of adorableness overload.

Ryan's mischevious behavior is slightly aggitating, yet charming. Might be biased on this one, but I don't even mind when he makes a mess because I know he's just exploring. He's so adventurous and independent; always seeking out new things. 'Oh mommy, you have a check in your purse? I wonder how money tastes...let me eat it and find out.'

Oh yeah. And the cheeks. We shoulda just named him "Cheeks".

Self-Reflecting Sundays

Sometimes... every once in awhile...

I get to brag. about myself. about my kids. about my husband. our family.

Because I think that we are pretty awesome.

We are tough and we are fighters and we are fun and we love our family.

Those moments that I realize this and stop beating myself up for not being everything I think I have to be, or being exactly where we want to be are the best moments of life, for me at least.

I think that one of the hardest things in my life to overcome was my fear of...uhhh... shall we say, appearing to try? I never wanted anybody to see me try. Which I suppose might be part of my OCD/perfectionist tendencies. I used to have this theory that if I couldn't do it exactly the way it was supposed to be done, then I didn't want to do it at all. I was afraid of failure, I guess you could say.

I sabbotaged myself when things got hard because I couldn't admit to myself that I might need help. So instead of asking for help, I just flailed around like a fish outta water...maybe even like a beached whale or some other really unappealing vision. Ok not really, it was more like I decided that my iPod and my hoodie were my apart of my body and I checked out of life. I shut out friends and family who cared and teachers who wanted to help because I couldn't admit that I didn't understand Math and I hated Chemistry and I just wanted to sit in English class all day.

This kind of behavior kind of took over my life. It not only effected my grades, my social life, but also my self esteem, my body image, and my relationships.

I kid you not, one day I woke up and I finally realized that I didn't have to perfect, I just had to try. To be completely honest, it was probably a series of events and finally what some call "rock bottom" that triggered this but it certainly felt like it happened overnight.

Once I realized this, I embraced it and I started taking care of myself. I went to the Art Institute and I tried and I succeeded in a lot of ways and I failed in a lot of ways, and it was all okay. Obviously, right? Because here I am.

With all of that trying and failing and succeeding, I think (I hope) I became a better person. I think it was all preparation for motherhood. Because any mother knows you can fail 100 times before 10AM and it doesn't even matter because the minute you give up and sprawl out on the couch, these little people crawl up to you and kiss you and smother you with their tiny little bodies in displays of affection and you know you've succeeded.

So with all of that being said, you must know that I am a fighter. I don't give up easily and I'm not afraid of trying. I love my family and I'm a firm believer in the "Work Hard, Play Hard" motto. I am also not afraid to ask for help when things get to be more than I can handle. I try to learn from my mistakes, but I'm also a human so please don't hold it against me if I don't have it all figured out yet :)

Thanksgiving in April?

So I know it's not Thanksgiving, but I woke up feeling all sorts of gratitude so I thought I'd share a few things that I am thankful for.

First. I have to say that I am extremely grateful to have been brought up in such an amazing church. I feel like the church has been a 2nd mom to me.

You know when you're a little kid and you pack a bag and announce to your mom that you're running away? She says, 'Ok, well I will miss you a lot. Please be safe' and she sends you on your way knowing very well that you will not make it past the driveway. Not wanting to prove her right, you sit at the end of the driveway for about 15 minutes that feel like an eternity and eventually try to sneak in the back door. She might pretend like she didn't notice you sneaking back in, but she never turns you away. She always accepts your return with open arms.

Secondly, I am extremely overwhelmed with gratitude to all the amazing people I have in my life. It's always great to have a lot of people to celebrate with, but it's even more amazing to know that when the limo breaks down, there's plenty of people to walk you home. So to everyone who has reached out to our family this week, we are extremely thankful to all of you and you are all freaking awesome :)

I couldn't go without saying that I think I have a pretty amazing sister in law... She is basically my number one "Go-To" person. I don't think there has been anyone in our life that has been there for us more. Without hesitation she has always offered her services to help us, even if it puts a wrench in her plans or might make her day a little more chaotic (she has 4 kids and often watches our two monsters...even so we can just go on a date sometimes). Not to mention she's basically my on-call nurse and sometimes therapist :) I pretty much spent the first year of Tristan's life on the phone with her asking "Is this normal?!"

Last, but certainly not least... my babies. As most of you know, I've been on my own with the kids for the last 6ish days. I'm extremely tired and might actually be losing my mind BUT I have been rewarded by lots of sweet kisses and cuddles so it has all been worth it. I promise you my kids really can be demon children sometimes, but they have been so extremely good for me this week, it has been a breeze.

 

And what I mean by good is that Tristan has woken up at 7am every day, crawled into my bed making me believe he wants to cuddle, and promptly demanded for "breadsticks" (which translates into breakfast") and to watch "racecars" (which happens to be an episode of Little Einstein's about a music car). He has chosen to wave his freedom flag and opt out of eating anything that does not fall into the "Cookie" category, and has decided that naps are for babies (aka Ryan).

Ryan has decided that Tristan is the perfect MMA opponent and Tristan now has a nice cut and soon to be black eye. He then pooped in the bath last night and proceeded to poop all over the living room and then finally...investigated it. I have also caught Ryan eating Desitin cream, sucking on a banana peel he pulled out of the garbage, and trying to ride Chloe. At least he is sweet and cuddly and has nice chunky legs that I can squeeze.

As I'm typing this heartfelt message about how awesome and well-behaved my children have been this week, Ryan is sprawled out on top of Tristan having the time of his life and Tristan is yelling, "Help, Help!" soooo now I have to go.

Till next time.

Turning TEMPTATION into TRIUMPH.

"If It doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you"

This past year has been all about challenges for me. Life has been challenging me in so many ways I never thought possible, but yet here I am. Still kicking. 

Most of us are faced with temptations on a daily basis; whether it be that chocolate cake or a much greater temptation, it doesn't matter really... the outcome is still the same. 

Guilt.

You know you shouldn't, but you did so now what?

The only thing to do is to set about making it right. Just because you chose the chocolate cake over your regular go-to healthy oatmeal breakfast option doesn't mean your entire day is ruined. Make it right; make sure you get in an extra 20 minutes at the gym, and vow to eat better the rest of the day. 

So how do you make sure you won't continue to make this choice every single day? 

You change.

You challenge yourself each and every morning to eat right and eat better. 

Eventually it gets easier.

You become a different person, really. You've been forced to. The pain of eating the donut will eventually become so unbearable (or unhealthy) that you are left with no choice. 

This was something I had to learn the hard way. I had to re-learn how to eat, learn how to exercise, learn to push myself even when I wanted to give up; I had to learn to say no to things I knew were only going to hurt me in the end. It may seem like everything is all fun and games when you're out with your friends and everyone's indulging in deliciously greasy food...but if you know it isn't right for you, then why is it so hard to say no? We don't have to all be alike. Just because Susan can eat an entire cake and stay at 130lbs, doesn't mean we can. Sometimes we have to face the fact that we made choices that led us to where we are and that's what makes us different from our friends right now. 

One of the hardest things I've faced this last year was dealing with the outcome of the choices I made when giving in to all the tempations of the world. 

Obviously, I'm not just talking about food.

But I am going to continue to talk about food, because it's one temptation I may have conquered. I have learned to love healthy food. To stop thinking about all the things I can't eat and start loving all the things I can. I get a lot of questions about what I eat, so I thought I'd share a few of my favorite healthy meals. 

First and foremost, I freaking love breakfast. It's always been my favorite meal of the day, but now I am really obsessed. If I could eat breakfast foods all day I would, and most days, I do end up eating breakfast foods for lunch :)

So today, we're just talking about breakfast. Because I like it. And I could talk about breakfast all day long. 

My favorite breakfast foods:

Easy peasy:

Scrambled eggs + 

Multigrain toast with peanut butter,blueberries and 1/2 banana.

Ways to change it up:

I try to only eat peanut butter on strength training days, so on off days, I'll choose either coconut oil or almond butter. You can also cook your eggs differently. Personally, if I make overeasy eggs, I like to have toast with coconut oil. So yummy.

This is seriously my all time favorite breakfast though and perfect for morning workouts, strength training days, or even a post workout meal.

(Not my lowest calorie option, just FYI)

!/2 cup Greek Yogurt, sprinkled with dry oats and a tiny sprinkle of granola + blueberries & bananas

This is a very simple, clean and easy breakfast. 

Greek Yogurt + Granola + Strawberries + Blueberries

Change it up by changing the kind of fruit you use each week or changing the flavor of your Greek Yogurt. I usually use Plain because I typically get flavor from the extras I add in, but I have tried the Vanilla as well.

I have actually managed to cut my coffee intake almost entirely. I rarely drink coffee in the morning these days and when I do it is in the afternoon after a workout, usually on the weekends or on a "rest day".

Vanilla flavored low-fat Greek Yogurt + Vanilla Almond Granola

Oatmeal + 1 scoop protein powder + 1 tablespoon of brown sugar

 Ways to change up your oatmeal:

Add fruit. ANY KIND IS SO GOOD.

Add protein powder. 

Of course, there are tons of other options out there too. I recently tried protein powder pancakes and they were pretty delicious. I'm going to continue to look into more protein packed breakfasts and see what I can find. 

When I was working I bought a To-Go container (we got ours at Target). That way when you're running late you're not forced to skip breakfast, stop somewhere like McDonald's or overindulge on the pastries at Starbucks. That pastry case is a whole hell of temptation for me. I don't even go in anymore (for several reasons, mainly being that I try not to bring my kids in public when I don't have to...haha............. just kidding).

When I was working early morning shifts, Starbucks was a great place for me to get a healthy breakfast when I was running late. Their "perfect" oatmeal is a perfect serving and you pick and choose what you add to your oatmeal. Plus they have bananas, and of course coffee :)

I'll have to start exploring some more quick and easy/ on the go options shortly because it looks like my mornings are going to be full again ;)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Belated Easter Sunday 2013

I know, I'm late on this but in my defense... I've had a lot going on. April always gets busy for me because as you know, I really enjoy throwing the kids birthday parties and Tristan's birthday is in April, and my mom comes to visit, and usually there's Easter somewhere in there, although it decided to sneak into March this year.And then of course, just as the sun comes out and you think life is going to get oh so sweet again, our entire family gets hit with the plague. Going on 8 days now. YEP. So there's that. 

I always shirk my motherhood duties around Easter. I'm all for Easter and everything, but it kind of falls into the same category as Thanksgiving for me... I don't care either way what we do, I just want someone to feed me. And I don't want to do the cooking. 

SO ANYWAY-- I present to you, Easter:

The BEST weekend EVER.

Best Weekend Ever. 

Part one. 

AKA Saturday

As most of you know, the Hubs & I are doing the Color Run on Mother's Day this year and since I have always struggled in the running department, I have been "training" for this run for a couple weeks now. Still not quite where I want to be, but I'm getting there and it's starting to be less of a task. 

So when Eric asked me if I wanted to go running TOGETHER, I was like "Duhhhh" and then we came up with this great plan to start "training" together. Because afterall we will be running together in a sea of strangers, and well... I don't really want to get stuck celebrating with randoms at the finish line. I mean, unless they are cool.

So heres the kicker about married life. with children. Going on a date is not as simple as, "Hey want to go on a date?" Neither is exercising together, or eating a meal at the same time. Even sitting next to each other on the couch is kind of a treat. 

On the plus side, remember when sneaking out and stealing your parents car was the best natural high out there? (not like I ever...ever, did this...) Well now you can simply go to the grocery store without breaking any laws to get that same feeling. I know whenever I get to leave the house without the kids, I feel 16 all over again...sunglasses on, sunroof open, blasting my music...who cares if it's raining outside and I don't know the lyrics? 

Here's the other awesome thing about married life with kids. You get SO EXCITED about baby gear. And since we all know I just recently got the BOB and I'm pretty much in love with it, having to take the kids along our "day date" didn't seem so bad afterall. That was my thought before lunches had been packed, and before I realized I was pushing over 60lbs in this stroller :/ 

(PS. 100% Healthy lunch. Made the Hubs and my sandwich with mashed avocado instead of mayo...honestly, sometimes the thing I find on Pinterest I feel so silly that I never thought of it before!)

We even took my "rabid mutt" as Eric so lovingly refers to her these days :)

 ^^ Destination. First time running this trail, so we weren't quite sure where we'd end up. To be honest, the run wasn't quite long enough for us, but it was hot and windy and we were starving so we were kind of okay with it. We decided that next time we'll leave the lunches in the car (turned out to be SO HEAVY--lunch for 4 people, plus water for Chloe) and picnic at the end of the run. If you run down to the dock and back to the park it ends up being about 4 miles. We ran to the dock and halfway back (so about 2.5-3 miles) and then picnicked- and walked the rest of the way back. Overall, the weather was great, the company was great, food was delicious, and the run was decent...pretty satisfying Saturday afternoon with the family :)