I've been slacking I know. It's not that I've fallen out of love with my blog...it's just that I needed some space to think without the whole world knowing what was going on in my life. Yeah? This happens. Don't be offended.
I suppose that I was overdue for a little unsettledness in my bones and well...we're going to call it "My quarter-life crisis". Other people might call it, "The Grass is Always Greener" syndrome.
But here's the honest/raw/real deal because that's the only way I know:
I woke up one morning and felt like my life just wasn't enough. I know those of you that know me are thinking right about now that I'm the biggest brat in the whole world. How could my life- the very life that I have worked so hard for, created, nurtured, and loved for the past 4 years just not be enough? Don't get me wrong-- this has nothing to do with my husband or kids, and everything to do with me. I'm not going to go into detail but I just felt an unsettledness within me and felt like I needed to be 24 and live and experience things outside of changing diapers and making bottles.
I can see clearly right now that I have everything that I have ever wanted-- and more and I am not in any way intending to give the impression that I am sacrificing any of this-- I am trying to find a balance. I am trying to be true to myself and find out who I really am and what I really want from this life.
So the truth is that this past month I haven't had much to blog about because I've been navigating off my GPS. Or is that I've had too much to blog about but didn't want to share any of it with the world? Either way my GPS lady was screaming, "REROUTE-REROUTE" at me over and over and I just ignored her, and finally she irritated me enough that I decided to turn it off all together. I decided to find my way on my own this time because if I'm honest with myself--- I hate having people telling me what to do. And besides, I'm really good with directions.
At this point, who knows whether or not I'll do what I know is right and just listen to the GPS lady or if I'll just continue to travel blindly, but I promise I'll let you know.
So of course I found myself here today, and I think it was mainly to share with my family and friends what I've learned..and what I've learned is that I know nothing about what I think I know. I learned I have a lot of learning and growing (up) to do. So that's what I'll be doing for awhile. I'm going to try to keep up with my blog but if I go missing for awhile, you'll know why.
I love you all and I am soooo thankful that I have had good friends and family to be able to lean on, but most of all I am thankful to have a husband who is trying his hardest to be patient with me while I find my way on my own. And for any of you that have ever had to deal with me, you know this is no easy feat.
Till Next Time :)
